"Violations" or: Mind Rape's the Fun Rape.

Hey, you know what'd be a RIOT? Let's invite that family of mind-fuckers on board who don't believe in solid fabrics. 'Member how much fun they were last whatever-holiday-we-celebrate-on-TNG?

OH FUCK! Dream Riker's raping Troi! (Pssst, Deanna: the safety word's "Imzadi.")

OH SHIT! Beverly's dead husband looked right at her and all he asked about was Wesley!

Oh MOTHERFUCK! That fucking ensign made eye contact on one of Riker's Fat Days!

"Captain, how can it be date mind-rape if you liked it? Why else did you wear that skin-tight Season 1 uniform to my quarters last night?"

Somebody better grab that bitch up by her hair holes!
They mind rapin e'erbody out here!

"Reunion" or: Dead Single Mom Klingon.

Ehhhh, her name's got like fuckin apostrophes in it because of course it does. It's like Rag'nar or Klep't'har or some shit and she talks like some high-toned 1930's dame. Like THAT'S gonna make you overlook the forehead. Anyway, this one's teeth are straight so Worf blew a wad of acid up inside her back in the day.

(Welcome to life on the D, Alexander! You're gonna love the daycare.)

Oh SNAP, those gang-bangers knifed her shit UP! And she had that music scholarship and everything! She was gonna make it out of this fuckin town.
(That mauve ottoman is ruined, btw. RUINED. Who do you think PAYS for that? Does it get Fabrezed and then dumped in some Bajoran ensign's cabin?)

Aww, that's nice, see now they can have a nice heart-to-heart about grief and loss and--


...No, it's, it's cool, Worf, it's like your cultural heritage and shit. I mean, who are WE to judge?
I only have to LIVE in the apartment next to yours and hear your weird-ass chanting and blade-fighting in the middle of the night. But I'm not racist.

I'm just sayin. Deck 17 USED to be a nice place to live.

"Evolution" or: Dr. Beverly Loses a Face.

Oh LOLZ, look! Data brought that fuckin hermaphrodite cat into sickbay. Stupid robot, he thinks it's people. Oh wait, surprise! That Keikogawa bitch got herself pregnant down on like Deck 17. Life on the D is chuckles and fun.


Holy SHIT, oh my GOD! Beverly's face just full-on burned the fuck off her skull!
This is NOT okay.

Can genotronic treatments save her?
What if they gave her Pulaski's face?